“Better than any argument is to rise at dawn and pick dew-wet red berries in a cup” (Wendell Berry).

I haven’t read much Wendell Berry lately. He used to be someone I read rather frequently. Yet, when ever I return to him I am grateful for his insight and grounded perceptions. The above quote resonates with me greatly, because for a majority of my adult life I have been thinking about the world’s problems, not my own. In particular, I have focused on human society’s ability to sustain itself.

Instead of focusing on the world outside of me, I now realize that my “red-berry-cup” has to be full for me to affect change. In other words, I have to be happy, healthy, and content before I can help others. (That’s why I’m on this ride: to reconnect with my love of exploration, thereby feeding my soul.) I think for a time, I thought winning arguments was the road to success. I thought that’s how I would gain the power necessary to change the world. That’s why I went to graduate school to study environmental policy. That’s why I read voraciously for many years. That’s why I farmed organically. It was all so I could be consistent with my values and to learn more; thus, I could theoretically win arguments, and peoples minds.

I now believe that is not the way to change the world.

A while back I was having a conversation with my best friend: Nate Wharton (Nate Dogg). Nate Dogg is one of those people that has a natural instinct for reading people and their underlying motivations (a VERY important skill if you ask me). I was talking to him about why I spent so much time studying the topic of sustainability and social justice when he said something to me that struck a chord. He said, and I’m paraphrasing here, that bleeding heart liberals tend to try to change the world, while ignoring their own well being. And, that they do this for their desire for external love. Boom. That hit me as hard as a Mike Tyson KO.

I think I have been seeking validation and love through my ability to promote sustainability. It’s a strange thing to admit, but it was largely true for me. Love is something all humans desire and I think it’s the strongest and most important motivator for human existence. So, I’m not upset with myself for doing so – I think it is very normal to seek love through our actions.

Which brings me to the point of this post: About 1.5 years ago I partook in ceremony with Ayuhusca. The experience is hard to put into words, and I’m not going to go into personal details about it. What I will say is that I was in dire need of help, and a friend of mine who is an Elder in the Ute Nation saw I needed it. Following his very subtle suggestion I reached out to a shaman and was able to experience the medicine multiple times.

Traversing realms, uncovering hidden memories, facing my deepest fears, and healing deep wounds was what I experienced. It changed me forever.

Yet, the most powerful thing I learned was that love is what I want in this life. And, that ultimately I don’t have to do a damn thing to deserve it. We as humans are all deserving of love. Nobody has to climb a mountain for it. We don’t need to buy massive homes for it. We don’t need makeup for it. We don’t need fancy cars for it. And, in fact, true love does not come from those things. Love was endowed to us, and cannot be taken from us. We simply need to be ourselves.

So, to conclude, I believe that the best and most effective means to creating a better world for ourselves and future generations is to first start with the inner work. I don’t know what that means for others, but I sort of know what it means for me. I don’t think there is one prescription for self-healing. But, it is incredibly important work to do – arguably the most. In healing ourselves, human beings are able to transform trauma into love. That to me is the meaning of human life – that to me is why I am here.

So, rather than engaging in arguments you can find me picking dew-wet-red-berries in a cup – which is what this ride is all about.

Getting dinner with my old friend Rosy in Morelia, Michoacán